Reality of Military

Something was stated recently that really ruffled my feathers and although most of my readers have no idea what it's like to be a military family, I'm sure the concensus will be that what was said is messed up, regardless of any circumstances! A wife of a military person is pregnant and recently found out the guy will be deploying a few months before the baby is due. Crappy situation, yes! Been there, done that! Yes, I have sympathy for them both because I have personally been in this situation but here is where my sympathy runs out! Wife posts a status on facebook bashing the military, saying something to the effect of "fuck the military" and "don't join, it's not worth it" and even says "hubbys boss told him too bad, he signed up to do a job and there are support groups for his wife". This then turns into a comment free-for-all of family and friends, some having sympathy that she will be alone and he will miss the birth, some saying it sucks but lots of wives have done it before and a good majority of them saying "the military is mean and out to get them" and "there is no way someone should miss the birth of their child" While I agree that no one should miss a birth, it happens more often than not in the military because lets face reality, they signed up to do a job, one of which requires them to be gone at times and fact of the matter is, we are all aware of this BEFORE we get married!

This particular wife starts getting a little heat from other military wives and members, for bashing the military, not for being pregnant and her husband deploying. This turns into a "my hormones, my hormones are making me say these things...blah blah blah" Screw your hormones! Have some control over what you say and do! While I still feel somewhat sympathetic for the situation, I can't help but get really mad that some people have this vision that the military life is nothing but unicorns and rainbows. Wake up!! Most of the time, it's anything but glorious! They miss birthdays, holidays, family get-togethers, births of their children, milestone events such as walking, talking, going to school for the first time. WHY? Because they have a job to do that requires them to be away for long periods of time. Being deployed is not the only reason they miss these events. They have trainings they must attend that can be anywhere from a few days to a few weeks/months. They also work long hours. The military is rarely a bankers hour kind of job. My husband works 14 hour days, which leaves little time for family time when he gets home because exhaustion kicks in.

Here is where my sympathy for this woman ceases. She not only bashes the military and her husbands job on facebook and in comments, but then proceeds to attack other wives by sending messages and comments saying they have NO idea what she is going through. She continues by saying she supports her husbands career choice but thinks the military should have more compassion when it comes to families. It's the fucking military you dumb bitch, not a daycare center. As a lot of friends and family members post comments to her status about "I'll come to help you" or "I'll be there when the baby is born" these comments keep pouring in and soon its evident that the birth of her child will be welcomed by TONS of people, yes again it sucks that the father will not be present but she will not be doing it alone. After all this blatent sympathy pouring on her and willingness to help her, she has the balls to say "I just don't feel like I have any support" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Cuz I just read everything people were saying and if by no support you mean "I have so many people that want to be with me while my husband is gone" then yes, you have no support but what I think you meant to say was "I feel like I have no support because the other wives aren't agreeing with me and feeding into my poor-poor me aspect of life" I call BULLSHIT! Fact of the matter is, there are 1000's of women that give birth without someone around, take care of children by themselves, are left alone for months on end while their significant other is off fighting for our freedom. So because your pregnant and your MILITARY spouse has to deploy, everyone should drop what they are doing because you're the first person to go through this? I DON'T THINK SO! In fact, I told her that she should be thankful he's not Army and deploying for a year at a time....it can always be worse!

Joel missed the birth of Rylan because he was deployed, doing his job! In reality, I hope he is present for the birth of his next child (no, one is not coming soon) but there is always the chance that he will be gone, doing his job! It's life and we deal with it....it's not ideal but it happens.......it's not fun but we make it work.....and there is no use whining, crying and bashing the military because all it does is make you look stupid!