Today is February 27th and in 2 short days it will be the year anniversary of the roller coaster ride that started my moms demise. I know, I know...not the way to start my typical blogs but oh well, guess I have other things on my mind than common annoyances of Facebook and Walmart! Who knew??
The reason for my rant tonight is I have decided that 95% of lawyers should be strung up by their balls (or other body parts) and hung out to be poked by sharp sticks and maybe have rocks thrown at them. I leave a 5% buffer zone for those lawyers out there (and yes, believe it or not they do exist) that actually help people instead of draining their checkbook! How do I know they exist? Well because I was a naughty child once upon a time and have needed some lawyer help, to my surprise actually helped me out A LOT and didn't butt rape me with their bill and also because I have friends that are lawyers and I can't very well tell them they suck at life :)
When my mom died, I was left to deal with her estate, which was and has been nothing short of a train wreck and was forced to hire a lawyer to handle to probate court process. Ps, have your shit in order before you die cuz this process blows! Anyway, I had met with several lawyers and law offices before I settled on the one I ultimately and now regretfully chose. Why did I choose him? Well, he was a very nice older man with an exuberant amount of probate experience. He is also a certified tax accountant, so bonus on the estate tax filing, right? Unfortunately, the main reason I decided to give him my money was after we discussed my moms estate and accounts, he said it shouldn't cost but about $1500 to close the entire estate, which included all court filings, taxes and extra things to be done since after all, it was me doing everything.
Essentially, all this dude had to do was get the court to appoint me the representative for the estate, get me a federal ID number for accounts and taxes and file the final papers after i sell the house. Let me point out that I even filed her taxes last year because it took me all of 15 seconds to do it. In the last 6 months, I've emailed him 3 times, which took him over 3 weeks to answer each time. Today, I get a bill in the mail for $879 for those communications and for him to file the estate taxes this year. Are you frickin high? Seriously dude, give me some of the drugs you've been taking! $879 to file taxes?.. And to answer 3 emails?
Let me just bend over and take it because if I don't pay him, he won't close the account when I sell the house. I've been telling him since I met him that I was going to sell the house in march, around the 1 year mark of her death. In his last email, he informs me I can't sell it until after he gets with the court to make sure there is no outstanding debt, which puts me at the end of April, right about the same time Joel is leaving for Korea. Perfect timing....cuz selling a house doesn't suck enough let alone when you're a single parent of 2 small kids. Which now makes me wonder how much this "checking with the court" bullshit is going to cost me.
As I stated before, he told me it should cost around $1500 total, clearly a lie considering the recent bill was more than half of that. So far, to date I have paid this prick $5800 to do what? Oh yes, get me to be the estate rep, to get the federal ID number and now file these damn taxes. What the freakin hell? Like I said earlier, needs to be strung up by his balls and poked with sharp sticks....or maybe a cattle prod, those are a fun little zap!
Hopefully not much longer with this dumb shit or I might need anger lawyer to help me out again...preferably one that isn't a money grubbing, lazy fuck that is just asking to get stabbed in a dark alley some night (and that was just a figure of speech, not a threat,)
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Match Made In...Walmart?
It still never ceases to amaze me why after so many bizarre episodes I've had at walmart, I continue to go there! Maybe I truly am a glutton for punishment! So just to spice up my ever so boring, dish doing filled life I ventured to walmart to do some grocery shopping. Since I was already at Babies R Us buying more crap my boys truly don't need...ok, so Jackson really does need the high chair I bought, I figured I would swing by Walmart on my way home. Usually I go to the Walmart closer to our house, it's relatively new and fairly free of the "people of Walmart". As people in Colorado Springs know, there are many Walmarts to choose from, some more on the 'enter at your own risk' end of the spectrum....where as you should come armed with a gas mask and shotgun! Today I chose that Walmart because well, it was on my way home. Crap!
I make my way into the store, grab a cart where only 2.5 wheels move and it constantly turns left on its own. If I didn't know it was the 23rd of February, I would have thought it was welfare payday because this place was packed...and naturally full of weirdos! I bob and weave my way through the crowds, which people that know me real well know me and crowds do not mesh well. I get cart rage very easily, trying to run over the next moron that walks in front of me or just looks at me :)
I get my cart full of groceries and alas, on to the checkout without any episodes of homicidal nature. I'm waiting the checkout, there are a few people ahead of me but I notice the guy in front of me. Slicked back hair, black leather jacket and black boots, more like the biker kind of boots but I doubt this dude had any bike beside a pretty pink Huffy! The thing that first caught my attention was the fact that here he stands in the checkout line with no cart, no basket, no items in hand. Then I notice his bachelor meal of choice laying on the floor in front of him: 2 frozen pizzas and a loaf of bread.
I go back to minding my own business, getting annoyed by everyone's kids running around like little bastards, screaming at the top of their lungs. Out of no where, dude in front of me (I will now refer to him as Slick) busts out laughing. Not little giggle, all out loud laughing. I look around thinking maybe there was a tv around or something....nothing! Ok Slick, what's up? Then it happens....Slick talks to me! Ahhhhhhhh....can't very well run with a gimpy cart full of groceries when you're trapped by 100's of people. Shit! Here's what went down,
Slick: you look really happy to be here
Me: yep
Slick: no really, you look like you're ready to kill someone
Me: there's no place I'd rather be then here
Slick: so I've been thinking that Walmart should have 3 or 4 lanes for just single people so they can mingle while they wait to checkout
Me: um ok
Slick: I see you have a ring on your finger, are you really married or just wearing it to avoid weirdos?
Me: little of both! I'm really married but apparently it doesn't make weirdos avoid me
Slick: hahahahahaha
I am now playing around on my phone, avoiding any eye contact and hoping the cashier hurries the hell up so I can get out of there....of course it wasn't over yet.
Slick: wow you have some pretty good looking food in your cart, maybe I will come home with you and you can cook dinner
Me: (said nothing but probably gave him a serious WTF look)
Finally the cashier scans his 3 crappy items and I hear him say:
Slick: I'm going home with her so she can cook me dinner
Cashier: oh yeah? Do you know her?
Slick: no but she has good food
Again, I'm assuming the look on face was priceless! Slick goes about his business and leaves. Seriously, wtf! I had to make sure he wasn't lurking in the parking lot while I put my groceries in the car....again, wtf! I still can't seem to understand why I continue to go there, no matter how amusing it may be! Only at Walmart, I swear!
I make my way into the store, grab a cart where only 2.5 wheels move and it constantly turns left on its own. If I didn't know it was the 23rd of February, I would have thought it was welfare payday because this place was packed...and naturally full of weirdos! I bob and weave my way through the crowds, which people that know me real well know me and crowds do not mesh well. I get cart rage very easily, trying to run over the next moron that walks in front of me or just looks at me :)
I get my cart full of groceries and alas, on to the checkout without any episodes of homicidal nature. I'm waiting the checkout, there are a few people ahead of me but I notice the guy in front of me. Slicked back hair, black leather jacket and black boots, more like the biker kind of boots but I doubt this dude had any bike beside a pretty pink Huffy! The thing that first caught my attention was the fact that here he stands in the checkout line with no cart, no basket, no items in hand. Then I notice his bachelor meal of choice laying on the floor in front of him: 2 frozen pizzas and a loaf of bread.
I go back to minding my own business, getting annoyed by everyone's kids running around like little bastards, screaming at the top of their lungs. Out of no where, dude in front of me (I will now refer to him as Slick) busts out laughing. Not little giggle, all out loud laughing. I look around thinking maybe there was a tv around or something....nothing! Ok Slick, what's up? Then it happens....Slick talks to me! Ahhhhhhhh....can't very well run with a gimpy cart full of groceries when you're trapped by 100's of people. Shit! Here's what went down,
Slick: you look really happy to be here
Me: yep
Slick: no really, you look like you're ready to kill someone
Me: there's no place I'd rather be then here
Slick: so I've been thinking that Walmart should have 3 or 4 lanes for just single people so they can mingle while they wait to checkout
Me: um ok
Slick: I see you have a ring on your finger, are you really married or just wearing it to avoid weirdos?
Me: little of both! I'm really married but apparently it doesn't make weirdos avoid me
Slick: hahahahahaha
I am now playing around on my phone, avoiding any eye contact and hoping the cashier hurries the hell up so I can get out of there....of course it wasn't over yet.
Slick: wow you have some pretty good looking food in your cart, maybe I will come home with you and you can cook dinner
Me: (said nothing but probably gave him a serious WTF look)
Finally the cashier scans his 3 crappy items and I hear him say:
Slick: I'm going home with her so she can cook me dinner
Cashier: oh yeah? Do you know her?
Slick: no but she has good food
Again, I'm assuming the look on face was priceless! Slick goes about his business and leaves. Seriously, wtf! I had to make sure he wasn't lurking in the parking lot while I put my groceries in the car....again, wtf! I still can't seem to understand why I continue to go there, no matter how amusing it may be! Only at Walmart, I swear!
My Movie Lifestyle
Usually once every few days my husband asks me "have you seen this movie?" and lists off some stupid movie that I would never want to see. Last night, he asked if I've ever seen the Princess Bride, I think that was the name of it. Clearly, I haven't seen it before if I can't remember the name of it. Anyway, it got me thinking! Every time he asks me if I seen a movie my answer is always one of 2 things: no I haven't or I've only seen parts of it.
Why is that? Funny you might ask! I realized the main reasons I've never seen most movies is because I'm always busy doing dishes, cleaning, cooking or would rather be sleeping since sleep isn't something that comes frequently to me these days. Out of those 4 things, of course there is truly only one I would rather be doing more than others. How did you guess, of course it's dishes! Yeah right! Although, no matter what I'm doing, it seems I always have to stop and do dishes in between!
It seems that damn dish fairy keeps missing my house and leaving me to do her dirty work. Wait a second....maybe this whole time I've been the dish fairy? Holy shit, how could no one have told me this totally exciting news? Here this whole time I've been thinking this cute little fairy rides around at night and POOF, the dishes are magically done when in fact, in my house its me having to have dried out, cracked hands all the time from doing so many dishes we could set a table for a small kingdom. Well shit, now it all makes sense.
No wonder I don't have time to watch movies or know stupid useless tv trivia, I'm too busy scrubbing off crusted on food on the forks and scrubbing dried out milk out of bottoms of cups, and I don't even drink milk. What the hell! And then of course there's the baby bottles that come apart in 6 pieces each, really...is that necessary? And sippy cups, oh those damn this are not constructed to be washed and ever be truly clean. God forbid you misplace one for a few hours and don't rinse it out right away! Anyway, apparently I've gotten off track for a second.
I think the next time I'm asked if I've seen a movie, I'm going to pile dishes in front of the tv and ask if anyone has seen my badly written movie script! I think it should be named 'Death by Dawn' or 'Scrub a Dub Mama'
Why is that? Funny you might ask! I realized the main reasons I've never seen most movies is because I'm always busy doing dishes, cleaning, cooking or would rather be sleeping since sleep isn't something that comes frequently to me these days. Out of those 4 things, of course there is truly only one I would rather be doing more than others. How did you guess, of course it's dishes! Yeah right! Although, no matter what I'm doing, it seems I always have to stop and do dishes in between!
It seems that damn dish fairy keeps missing my house and leaving me to do her dirty work. Wait a second....maybe this whole time I've been the dish fairy? Holy shit, how could no one have told me this totally exciting news? Here this whole time I've been thinking this cute little fairy rides around at night and POOF, the dishes are magically done when in fact, in my house its me having to have dried out, cracked hands all the time from doing so many dishes we could set a table for a small kingdom. Well shit, now it all makes sense.
No wonder I don't have time to watch movies or know stupid useless tv trivia, I'm too busy scrubbing off crusted on food on the forks and scrubbing dried out milk out of bottoms of cups, and I don't even drink milk. What the hell! And then of course there's the baby bottles that come apart in 6 pieces each, really...is that necessary? And sippy cups, oh those damn this are not constructed to be washed and ever be truly clean. God forbid you misplace one for a few hours and don't rinse it out right away! Anyway, apparently I've gotten off track for a second.
I think the next time I'm asked if I've seen a movie, I'm going to pile dishes in front of the tv and ask if anyone has seen my badly written movie script! I think it should be named 'Death by Dawn' or 'Scrub a Dub Mama'
Thursday, February 21, 2013
It's been a LONG time
It's been over a year since I've written anything, which is odd considering my blog title is 'daily disturbances' I guess I've failed for the last 367 days or I haven't been disturbed. I'll go with the first option cuz god knows there's enough in the world to piss a person off on a daily basis, especially me!
It's taken me a few days to collaborate ideas for a new blog but I can't seem to narrow it down to just one certain topic so here goes! First off, I work in a OB/GYN clinic and saying we see our share of "special" patients is an understatement. And by special, I mean they should need a license to breed! We see all kinds of stupid on a daily basis but there are certain things about pregnant people that really get on my nerves.
#1) stay off google! Google is not your friend, nor is it a reliable source of information (and neither are your friends unless they are OB/GYN specialists). Just because google says you need to be seen immediately because you're pregnant and stubbed your toe doesn't mean you need to rush into your nearest ER declaring you are dying! You're pregnant, you're not crippled or handicapped and pregnancy doesn't make you stupid, you make yourself stupid which is why you shouldn't have gotten pregnant to begin with!
#2) So you're pregnant, throw up at the thought of food and can't take your prenatal vitamins. Big deal! Again, you're pregnant! D you think 50 years ago people ran to the hospital expecting prestige care because they could only eat crackers between 9-11am? No! They put on their big girl panties and went to work 8+ hours a day, never complaining that "they didn't feel good" boooo hoooo!
#3) The OB/GYN clinic (or any other place) is not a frickin daycare center! Don't bring your unruly little brats into a public place and expect other people to watch your children, make sure they aren't breaking our very expensive equipment or have us yell at them to stop screaming like maniacs because here's a thought 'you're not the only people in this place' and no one wants to listen to their shit! If you have to haul your 4 kids to an appointment, the whole time whining your husband is deploying, maybe you should have thought about that before shacking up again cuz 4 kids are not gonna be able to chill on labor & delivery while you're having your next little demon spawn.
#4) If the whole time you're pregnant you are whining about wanting a drink so bad or wanting to go out to the bar, maybe a kid isn't what you need in your life! You think people are gonna want to babysit your kid so you can go booze it up after that child is born? Priorities people....and if you're thinking about a drink as soon as that kid is born then you need help but I suppose kudos if you didn't drink during your pregnancy, that makes you a little less selfish and stupid!
Ok, enough of the crazy pregnant people rants! Although, I do have plenty more I could rattle off cuz I'm not kidding, we really see all kinds! The last thing that has irritated me lately is something of a completely different subject matter. Just in case you missed the memo, my husband leaves soon for a year, where I will be a single parent of 2 kids, no family around to dump them off on...just them and me! I'm fine with that because I know I can handle it, where as its apparent some people can't handle their spouse/significant other leaving for 5 seconds. God forbid they have to pee, do you follow them in there too? Recently someone made a statement that seriously made me wonder. Their other half was leaving town and their biggest concern was who was going to shovel the driveway if it snowed. Seriously??? That is the biggest issue? Not sure if you realize this but there are thousands of people whose spouse is deployed to a fuckin war zone with no cell phone, no landline phone, limited (if any) Internet connection, getting shot at and having IED's go off all the time and you're concerned about who is shoveling your god damn driveway? Here's a thought, pull your head out of your ass and call a plow company if its truly that big of an inconvenience for you and that is the biggest trouble in your life.
Anyway, that is all for now but be forewarned, there will be plenty more in the near future. No more going on a year long hiatus! Until next time, don't be stupid :)
It's taken me a few days to collaborate ideas for a new blog but I can't seem to narrow it down to just one certain topic so here goes! First off, I work in a OB/GYN clinic and saying we see our share of "special" patients is an understatement. And by special, I mean they should need a license to breed! We see all kinds of stupid on a daily basis but there are certain things about pregnant people that really get on my nerves.
#1) stay off google! Google is not your friend, nor is it a reliable source of information (and neither are your friends unless they are OB/GYN specialists). Just because google says you need to be seen immediately because you're pregnant and stubbed your toe doesn't mean you need to rush into your nearest ER declaring you are dying! You're pregnant, you're not crippled or handicapped and pregnancy doesn't make you stupid, you make yourself stupid which is why you shouldn't have gotten pregnant to begin with!
#2) So you're pregnant, throw up at the thought of food and can't take your prenatal vitamins. Big deal! Again, you're pregnant! D you think 50 years ago people ran to the hospital expecting prestige care because they could only eat crackers between 9-11am? No! They put on their big girl panties and went to work 8+ hours a day, never complaining that "they didn't feel good" boooo hoooo!
#3) The OB/GYN clinic (or any other place) is not a frickin daycare center! Don't bring your unruly little brats into a public place and expect other people to watch your children, make sure they aren't breaking our very expensive equipment or have us yell at them to stop screaming like maniacs because here's a thought 'you're not the only people in this place' and no one wants to listen to their shit! If you have to haul your 4 kids to an appointment, the whole time whining your husband is deploying, maybe you should have thought about that before shacking up again cuz 4 kids are not gonna be able to chill on labor & delivery while you're having your next little demon spawn.
#4) If the whole time you're pregnant you are whining about wanting a drink so bad or wanting to go out to the bar, maybe a kid isn't what you need in your life! You think people are gonna want to babysit your kid so you can go booze it up after that child is born? Priorities people....and if you're thinking about a drink as soon as that kid is born then you need help but I suppose kudos if you didn't drink during your pregnancy, that makes you a little less selfish and stupid!
Ok, enough of the crazy pregnant people rants! Although, I do have plenty more I could rattle off cuz I'm not kidding, we really see all kinds! The last thing that has irritated me lately is something of a completely different subject matter. Just in case you missed the memo, my husband leaves soon for a year, where I will be a single parent of 2 kids, no family around to dump them off on...just them and me! I'm fine with that because I know I can handle it, where as its apparent some people can't handle their spouse/significant other leaving for 5 seconds. God forbid they have to pee, do you follow them in there too? Recently someone made a statement that seriously made me wonder. Their other half was leaving town and their biggest concern was who was going to shovel the driveway if it snowed. Seriously??? That is the biggest issue? Not sure if you realize this but there are thousands of people whose spouse is deployed to a fuckin war zone with no cell phone, no landline phone, limited (if any) Internet connection, getting shot at and having IED's go off all the time and you're concerned about who is shoveling your god damn driveway? Here's a thought, pull your head out of your ass and call a plow company if its truly that big of an inconvenience for you and that is the biggest trouble in your life.
Anyway, that is all for now but be forewarned, there will be plenty more in the near future. No more going on a year long hiatus! Until next time, don't be stupid :)
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