In a land of magic where everything does itself, that is where I want to belong! Unfortunately, my magic wand has been permanently sent for repairs so everything has to get done without it. Why do I want my wand back? Let me tell you!
* the food would prance its way from the cupboards and refrigerator into the oven and cook itself. Although I do like cooking, it's frickin exhausting and majorly time consuming.
* the dishes from said made food above would walk their happy ass to the sink, take a bath and retreat back into the cabinets. Instead, they pile on the counter until scrubbed and piled on the counter to dry.
* laundry...oh laundry! No need to elaborate on this one but it sure would be nice if it could put itself away. Nothing worse than having to dig through laundry baskets of clean, wrinkled clothes to find clean socks because those damn clothes haven't figured out how to spring themselves up on the hangers.
* now if only a new roll of toilet paper could magically appear on the holder when it's all gone! Not in my house, it's much easier to put the new roll on the shelf that is 6 inches further away from the toilet paper holder. Makes sense, right?
* if only I cared about making the bed! I mean really, no one sees my bed except my husband, myself and the kids and quite frankly, rylan doesn't care if the bed isn't made, Jackson doesn't even know what the bed is and I could seriously care less. But my husband is OCD about the bed being made everyday. I won't waste my wand powers on this shit but its safe to say for the year he will be gone, the bed will never be made!
* I need a magic cure to eliminate the dog crap over taking the backyard. I know they make these nifty little pooper scooper devices but that means someone has to actively go scoop poop. Gross! Hmmm....how to get rid of dog poop?? Ah yes, get rid of dogs that make the poop, problem solved but not going to happen. Magic wand, now!
* recycling day is a happy day for me! Only because its just about the only time when empty boxes, cans and milk containers aren't piled up on the counter, naturally right next to the clean dishes piled up on the counter next to the sink with dirty dishes piled on the counter on the other side of the sink. I think I need a bigger kitchen!
* magic wand, please come take the scale buildup ring out of my toilet! Spending lots of time bent over the toilet with that nasty scrub brush flinging poop particles all up in the air is not my idea of fun on my day off. No matter what cleaning product is used or even home remedy tried, nothing decrusts that scum from the toilet bowl. Not that I spend time staring into the toilet hoping for a pretty white bowl, but sure as hell if I have to hang my head in there to barf (or what used to be the perfect pass out place many moons ago) I do not want to be looking at that scaly stupid ring!
* if only the tv would come with a swift device that could change the channel without having to move. Hmmm, is that a remote control? I guess barely ever holding it would confuse me but damn, that magic wand would be great so I could change the channel while my husband is making me watch some stupid shit like duck dynasty, swamp people or some gay ass British car show.
Now, I've noticed I could use the magic wand for a lot of household things...and why not? Truly, no one likes doing the stuff I've talked about. BUT, just imagine a magic wand that worked outside the house!! It could do all the grocery shopping. It could wash the car. It could take away all the fun madness of Black Friday shopping or waiting to return something to Walmart the day after
Christmas. Awesome!
Of course, there would have to be limits on the wand usage. You couldn't very well make obnoxious coworkers disappear, although that would be amazing! Then again, it would take away all of the amusement of occasionally flipping out on that dumb ass person. It would be great to bust out the wand when someone in front of you refuses to drive the speed limit, no matter how late you are for work. And we can't being wanding our paychecks to make them have a few more zeros in them. After all, that would take away all the stress of government furloughs, losing hours at work, being short staffed and getting our paychecks cut. And if we could add more numbers to our paychecks, we wouldn't need to work so we would have all this extra time to do the chores the wand was intended for in the first place. Wand abuse? Possibly!
I suppose when all is said and done, the bottom line is the repair man blows at his job and is not fixing my magic wand. Maybe he's getting his employment cutbacks now too. I will just have to get used to the fact that I have to grocery shop, cook food, do dishes, clean up dog shit, change the toilet paper rolls, do laundry....and put the damn stuff away, take out the garbage and recycling, scrub toilets, watch dumb shit on tv (only for a few more weeks though) and clean up after the kids. I'll still have to put up with obnoxious coworkers, unless they accidentally fall off a cliff and those assholes
that drive slow in front of me.....well I'll ride your ass, yell curse words at you even though you can't hear me and will probably not get to work any faster but at least I will release some aggression on you and maybe refrain from killing the fore mentioned obnoxious coworker. All this said, still no wand but damn it, I'm not making the stupid bed!!
Friday, March 1, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Can I Get Some Lube for this???
Today is February 27th and in 2 short days it will be the year anniversary of the roller coaster ride that started my moms demise. I know, I know...not the way to start my typical blogs but oh well, guess I have other things on my mind than common annoyances of Facebook and Walmart! Who knew??
The reason for my rant tonight is I have decided that 95% of lawyers should be strung up by their balls (or other body parts) and hung out to be poked by sharp sticks and maybe have rocks thrown at them. I leave a 5% buffer zone for those lawyers out there (and yes, believe it or not they do exist) that actually help people instead of draining their checkbook! How do I know they exist? Well because I was a naughty child once upon a time and have needed some lawyer help, to my surprise actually helped me out A LOT and didn't butt rape me with their bill and also because I have friends that are lawyers and I can't very well tell them they suck at life :)
When my mom died, I was left to deal with her estate, which was and has been nothing short of a train wreck and was forced to hire a lawyer to handle to probate court process. Ps, have your shit in order before you die cuz this process blows! Anyway, I had met with several lawyers and law offices before I settled on the one I ultimately and now regretfully chose. Why did I choose him? Well, he was a very nice older man with an exuberant amount of probate experience. He is also a certified tax accountant, so bonus on the estate tax filing, right? Unfortunately, the main reason I decided to give him my money was after we discussed my moms estate and accounts, he said it shouldn't cost but about $1500 to close the entire estate, which included all court filings, taxes and extra things to be done since after all, it was me doing everything.
Essentially, all this dude had to do was get the court to appoint me the representative for the estate, get me a federal ID number for accounts and taxes and file the final papers after i sell the house. Let me point out that I even filed her taxes last year because it took me all of 15 seconds to do it. In the last 6 months, I've emailed him 3 times, which took him over 3 weeks to answer each time. Today, I get a bill in the mail for $879 for those communications and for him to file the estate taxes this year. Are you frickin high? Seriously dude, give me some of the drugs you've been taking! $879 to file taxes?.. And to answer 3 emails?
Let me just bend over and take it because if I don't pay him, he won't close the account when I sell the house. I've been telling him since I met him that I was going to sell the house in march, around the 1 year mark of her death. In his last email, he informs me I can't sell it until after he gets with the court to make sure there is no outstanding debt, which puts me at the end of April, right about the same time Joel is leaving for Korea. Perfect timing....cuz selling a house doesn't suck enough let alone when you're a single parent of 2 small kids. Which now makes me wonder how much this "checking with the court" bullshit is going to cost me.
As I stated before, he told me it should cost around $1500 total, clearly a lie considering the recent bill was more than half of that. So far, to date I have paid this prick $5800 to do what? Oh yes, get me to be the estate rep, to get the federal ID number and now file these damn taxes. What the freakin hell? Like I said earlier, needs to be strung up by his balls and poked with sharp sticks....or maybe a cattle prod, those are a fun little zap!
Hopefully not much longer with this dumb shit or I might need anger lawyer to help me out again...preferably one that isn't a money grubbing, lazy fuck that is just asking to get stabbed in a dark alley some night (and that was just a figure of speech, not a threat,)
The reason for my rant tonight is I have decided that 95% of lawyers should be strung up by their balls (or other body parts) and hung out to be poked by sharp sticks and maybe have rocks thrown at them. I leave a 5% buffer zone for those lawyers out there (and yes, believe it or not they do exist) that actually help people instead of draining their checkbook! How do I know they exist? Well because I was a naughty child once upon a time and have needed some lawyer help, to my surprise actually helped me out A LOT and didn't butt rape me with their bill and also because I have friends that are lawyers and I can't very well tell them they suck at life :)
When my mom died, I was left to deal with her estate, which was and has been nothing short of a train wreck and was forced to hire a lawyer to handle to probate court process. Ps, have your shit in order before you die cuz this process blows! Anyway, I had met with several lawyers and law offices before I settled on the one I ultimately and now regretfully chose. Why did I choose him? Well, he was a very nice older man with an exuberant amount of probate experience. He is also a certified tax accountant, so bonus on the estate tax filing, right? Unfortunately, the main reason I decided to give him my money was after we discussed my moms estate and accounts, he said it shouldn't cost but about $1500 to close the entire estate, which included all court filings, taxes and extra things to be done since after all, it was me doing everything.
Essentially, all this dude had to do was get the court to appoint me the representative for the estate, get me a federal ID number for accounts and taxes and file the final papers after i sell the house. Let me point out that I even filed her taxes last year because it took me all of 15 seconds to do it. In the last 6 months, I've emailed him 3 times, which took him over 3 weeks to answer each time. Today, I get a bill in the mail for $879 for those communications and for him to file the estate taxes this year. Are you frickin high? Seriously dude, give me some of the drugs you've been taking! $879 to file taxes?.. And to answer 3 emails?
Let me just bend over and take it because if I don't pay him, he won't close the account when I sell the house. I've been telling him since I met him that I was going to sell the house in march, around the 1 year mark of her death. In his last email, he informs me I can't sell it until after he gets with the court to make sure there is no outstanding debt, which puts me at the end of April, right about the same time Joel is leaving for Korea. Perfect timing....cuz selling a house doesn't suck enough let alone when you're a single parent of 2 small kids. Which now makes me wonder how much this "checking with the court" bullshit is going to cost me.
As I stated before, he told me it should cost around $1500 total, clearly a lie considering the recent bill was more than half of that. So far, to date I have paid this prick $5800 to do what? Oh yes, get me to be the estate rep, to get the federal ID number and now file these damn taxes. What the freakin hell? Like I said earlier, needs to be strung up by his balls and poked with sharp sticks....or maybe a cattle prod, those are a fun little zap!
Hopefully not much longer with this dumb shit or I might need anger lawyer to help me out again...preferably one that isn't a money grubbing, lazy fuck that is just asking to get stabbed in a dark alley some night (and that was just a figure of speech, not a threat,)
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Match Made In...Walmart?
It still never ceases to amaze me why after so many bizarre episodes I've had at walmart, I continue to go there! Maybe I truly am a glutton for punishment! So just to spice up my ever so boring, dish doing filled life I ventured to walmart to do some grocery shopping. Since I was already at Babies R Us buying more crap my boys truly don't need...ok, so Jackson really does need the high chair I bought, I figured I would swing by Walmart on my way home. Usually I go to the Walmart closer to our house, it's relatively new and fairly free of the "people of Walmart". As people in Colorado Springs know, there are many Walmarts to choose from, some more on the 'enter at your own risk' end of the spectrum....where as you should come armed with a gas mask and shotgun! Today I chose that Walmart because well, it was on my way home. Crap!
I make my way into the store, grab a cart where only 2.5 wheels move and it constantly turns left on its own. If I didn't know it was the 23rd of February, I would have thought it was welfare payday because this place was packed...and naturally full of weirdos! I bob and weave my way through the crowds, which people that know me real well know me and crowds do not mesh well. I get cart rage very easily, trying to run over the next moron that walks in front of me or just looks at me :)
I get my cart full of groceries and alas, on to the checkout without any episodes of homicidal nature. I'm waiting the checkout, there are a few people ahead of me but I notice the guy in front of me. Slicked back hair, black leather jacket and black boots, more like the biker kind of boots but I doubt this dude had any bike beside a pretty pink Huffy! The thing that first caught my attention was the fact that here he stands in the checkout line with no cart, no basket, no items in hand. Then I notice his bachelor meal of choice laying on the floor in front of him: 2 frozen pizzas and a loaf of bread.
I go back to minding my own business, getting annoyed by everyone's kids running around like little bastards, screaming at the top of their lungs. Out of no where, dude in front of me (I will now refer to him as Slick) busts out laughing. Not little giggle, all out loud laughing. I look around thinking maybe there was a tv around or something....nothing! Ok Slick, what's up? Then it happens....Slick talks to me! Ahhhhhhhh....can't very well run with a gimpy cart full of groceries when you're trapped by 100's of people. Shit! Here's what went down,
Slick: you look really happy to be here
Me: yep
Slick: no really, you look like you're ready to kill someone
Me: there's no place I'd rather be then here
Slick: so I've been thinking that Walmart should have 3 or 4 lanes for just single people so they can mingle while they wait to checkout
Me: um ok
Slick: I see you have a ring on your finger, are you really married or just wearing it to avoid weirdos?
Me: little of both! I'm really married but apparently it doesn't make weirdos avoid me
Slick: hahahahahaha
I am now playing around on my phone, avoiding any eye contact and hoping the cashier hurries the hell up so I can get out of there....of course it wasn't over yet.
Slick: wow you have some pretty good looking food in your cart, maybe I will come home with you and you can cook dinner
Me: (said nothing but probably gave him a serious WTF look)
Finally the cashier scans his 3 crappy items and I hear him say:
Slick: I'm going home with her so she can cook me dinner
Cashier: oh yeah? Do you know her?
Slick: no but she has good food
Again, I'm assuming the look on face was priceless! Slick goes about his business and leaves. Seriously, wtf! I had to make sure he wasn't lurking in the parking lot while I put my groceries in the car....again, wtf! I still can't seem to understand why I continue to go there, no matter how amusing it may be! Only at Walmart, I swear!
I make my way into the store, grab a cart where only 2.5 wheels move and it constantly turns left on its own. If I didn't know it was the 23rd of February, I would have thought it was welfare payday because this place was packed...and naturally full of weirdos! I bob and weave my way through the crowds, which people that know me real well know me and crowds do not mesh well. I get cart rage very easily, trying to run over the next moron that walks in front of me or just looks at me :)
I get my cart full of groceries and alas, on to the checkout without any episodes of homicidal nature. I'm waiting the checkout, there are a few people ahead of me but I notice the guy in front of me. Slicked back hair, black leather jacket and black boots, more like the biker kind of boots but I doubt this dude had any bike beside a pretty pink Huffy! The thing that first caught my attention was the fact that here he stands in the checkout line with no cart, no basket, no items in hand. Then I notice his bachelor meal of choice laying on the floor in front of him: 2 frozen pizzas and a loaf of bread.
I go back to minding my own business, getting annoyed by everyone's kids running around like little bastards, screaming at the top of their lungs. Out of no where, dude in front of me (I will now refer to him as Slick) busts out laughing. Not little giggle, all out loud laughing. I look around thinking maybe there was a tv around or something....nothing! Ok Slick, what's up? Then it happens....Slick talks to me! Ahhhhhhhh....can't very well run with a gimpy cart full of groceries when you're trapped by 100's of people. Shit! Here's what went down,
Slick: you look really happy to be here
Me: yep
Slick: no really, you look like you're ready to kill someone
Me: there's no place I'd rather be then here
Slick: so I've been thinking that Walmart should have 3 or 4 lanes for just single people so they can mingle while they wait to checkout
Me: um ok
Slick: I see you have a ring on your finger, are you really married or just wearing it to avoid weirdos?
Me: little of both! I'm really married but apparently it doesn't make weirdos avoid me
Slick: hahahahahaha
I am now playing around on my phone, avoiding any eye contact and hoping the cashier hurries the hell up so I can get out of there....of course it wasn't over yet.
Slick: wow you have some pretty good looking food in your cart, maybe I will come home with you and you can cook dinner
Me: (said nothing but probably gave him a serious WTF look)
Finally the cashier scans his 3 crappy items and I hear him say:
Slick: I'm going home with her so she can cook me dinner
Cashier: oh yeah? Do you know her?
Slick: no but she has good food
Again, I'm assuming the look on face was priceless! Slick goes about his business and leaves. Seriously, wtf! I had to make sure he wasn't lurking in the parking lot while I put my groceries in the car....again, wtf! I still can't seem to understand why I continue to go there, no matter how amusing it may be! Only at Walmart, I swear!
My Movie Lifestyle
Usually once every few days my husband asks me "have you seen this movie?" and lists off some stupid movie that I would never want to see. Last night, he asked if I've ever seen the Princess Bride, I think that was the name of it. Clearly, I haven't seen it before if I can't remember the name of it. Anyway, it got me thinking! Every time he asks me if I seen a movie my answer is always one of 2 things: no I haven't or I've only seen parts of it.
Why is that? Funny you might ask! I realized the main reasons I've never seen most movies is because I'm always busy doing dishes, cleaning, cooking or would rather be sleeping since sleep isn't something that comes frequently to me these days. Out of those 4 things, of course there is truly only one I would rather be doing more than others. How did you guess, of course it's dishes! Yeah right! Although, no matter what I'm doing, it seems I always have to stop and do dishes in between!
It seems that damn dish fairy keeps missing my house and leaving me to do her dirty work. Wait a second....maybe this whole time I've been the dish fairy? Holy shit, how could no one have told me this totally exciting news? Here this whole time I've been thinking this cute little fairy rides around at night and POOF, the dishes are magically done when in fact, in my house its me having to have dried out, cracked hands all the time from doing so many dishes we could set a table for a small kingdom. Well shit, now it all makes sense.
No wonder I don't have time to watch movies or know stupid useless tv trivia, I'm too busy scrubbing off crusted on food on the forks and scrubbing dried out milk out of bottoms of cups, and I don't even drink milk. What the hell! And then of course there's the baby bottles that come apart in 6 pieces each, really...is that necessary? And sippy cups, oh those damn this are not constructed to be washed and ever be truly clean. God forbid you misplace one for a few hours and don't rinse it out right away! Anyway, apparently I've gotten off track for a second.
I think the next time I'm asked if I've seen a movie, I'm going to pile dishes in front of the tv and ask if anyone has seen my badly written movie script! I think it should be named 'Death by Dawn' or 'Scrub a Dub Mama'
Why is that? Funny you might ask! I realized the main reasons I've never seen most movies is because I'm always busy doing dishes, cleaning, cooking or would rather be sleeping since sleep isn't something that comes frequently to me these days. Out of those 4 things, of course there is truly only one I would rather be doing more than others. How did you guess, of course it's dishes! Yeah right! Although, no matter what I'm doing, it seems I always have to stop and do dishes in between!
It seems that damn dish fairy keeps missing my house and leaving me to do her dirty work. Wait a second....maybe this whole time I've been the dish fairy? Holy shit, how could no one have told me this totally exciting news? Here this whole time I've been thinking this cute little fairy rides around at night and POOF, the dishes are magically done when in fact, in my house its me having to have dried out, cracked hands all the time from doing so many dishes we could set a table for a small kingdom. Well shit, now it all makes sense.
No wonder I don't have time to watch movies or know stupid useless tv trivia, I'm too busy scrubbing off crusted on food on the forks and scrubbing dried out milk out of bottoms of cups, and I don't even drink milk. What the hell! And then of course there's the baby bottles that come apart in 6 pieces each, really...is that necessary? And sippy cups, oh those damn this are not constructed to be washed and ever be truly clean. God forbid you misplace one for a few hours and don't rinse it out right away! Anyway, apparently I've gotten off track for a second.
I think the next time I'm asked if I've seen a movie, I'm going to pile dishes in front of the tv and ask if anyone has seen my badly written movie script! I think it should be named 'Death by Dawn' or 'Scrub a Dub Mama'
Thursday, February 21, 2013
It's been a LONG time
It's been over a year since I've written anything, which is odd considering my blog title is 'daily disturbances' I guess I've failed for the last 367 days or I haven't been disturbed. I'll go with the first option cuz god knows there's enough in the world to piss a person off on a daily basis, especially me!
It's taken me a few days to collaborate ideas for a new blog but I can't seem to narrow it down to just one certain topic so here goes! First off, I work in a OB/GYN clinic and saying we see our share of "special" patients is an understatement. And by special, I mean they should need a license to breed! We see all kinds of stupid on a daily basis but there are certain things about pregnant people that really get on my nerves.
#1) stay off google! Google is not your friend, nor is it a reliable source of information (and neither are your friends unless they are OB/GYN specialists). Just because google says you need to be seen immediately because you're pregnant and stubbed your toe doesn't mean you need to rush into your nearest ER declaring you are dying! You're pregnant, you're not crippled or handicapped and pregnancy doesn't make you stupid, you make yourself stupid which is why you shouldn't have gotten pregnant to begin with!
#2) So you're pregnant, throw up at the thought of food and can't take your prenatal vitamins. Big deal! Again, you're pregnant! D you think 50 years ago people ran to the hospital expecting prestige care because they could only eat crackers between 9-11am? No! They put on their big girl panties and went to work 8+ hours a day, never complaining that "they didn't feel good" boooo hoooo!
#3) The OB/GYN clinic (or any other place) is not a frickin daycare center! Don't bring your unruly little brats into a public place and expect other people to watch your children, make sure they aren't breaking our very expensive equipment or have us yell at them to stop screaming like maniacs because here's a thought 'you're not the only people in this place' and no one wants to listen to their shit! If you have to haul your 4 kids to an appointment, the whole time whining your husband is deploying, maybe you should have thought about that before shacking up again cuz 4 kids are not gonna be able to chill on labor & delivery while you're having your next little demon spawn.
#4) If the whole time you're pregnant you are whining about wanting a drink so bad or wanting to go out to the bar, maybe a kid isn't what you need in your life! You think people are gonna want to babysit your kid so you can go booze it up after that child is born? Priorities people....and if you're thinking about a drink as soon as that kid is born then you need help but I suppose kudos if you didn't drink during your pregnancy, that makes you a little less selfish and stupid!
Ok, enough of the crazy pregnant people rants! Although, I do have plenty more I could rattle off cuz I'm not kidding, we really see all kinds! The last thing that has irritated me lately is something of a completely different subject matter. Just in case you missed the memo, my husband leaves soon for a year, where I will be a single parent of 2 kids, no family around to dump them off on...just them and me! I'm fine with that because I know I can handle it, where as its apparent some people can't handle their spouse/significant other leaving for 5 seconds. God forbid they have to pee, do you follow them in there too? Recently someone made a statement that seriously made me wonder. Their other half was leaving town and their biggest concern was who was going to shovel the driveway if it snowed. Seriously??? That is the biggest issue? Not sure if you realize this but there are thousands of people whose spouse is deployed to a fuckin war zone with no cell phone, no landline phone, limited (if any) Internet connection, getting shot at and having IED's go off all the time and you're concerned about who is shoveling your god damn driveway? Here's a thought, pull your head out of your ass and call a plow company if its truly that big of an inconvenience for you and that is the biggest trouble in your life.
Anyway, that is all for now but be forewarned, there will be plenty more in the near future. No more going on a year long hiatus! Until next time, don't be stupid :)
It's taken me a few days to collaborate ideas for a new blog but I can't seem to narrow it down to just one certain topic so here goes! First off, I work in a OB/GYN clinic and saying we see our share of "special" patients is an understatement. And by special, I mean they should need a license to breed! We see all kinds of stupid on a daily basis but there are certain things about pregnant people that really get on my nerves.
#1) stay off google! Google is not your friend, nor is it a reliable source of information (and neither are your friends unless they are OB/GYN specialists). Just because google says you need to be seen immediately because you're pregnant and stubbed your toe doesn't mean you need to rush into your nearest ER declaring you are dying! You're pregnant, you're not crippled or handicapped and pregnancy doesn't make you stupid, you make yourself stupid which is why you shouldn't have gotten pregnant to begin with!
#2) So you're pregnant, throw up at the thought of food and can't take your prenatal vitamins. Big deal! Again, you're pregnant! D you think 50 years ago people ran to the hospital expecting prestige care because they could only eat crackers between 9-11am? No! They put on their big girl panties and went to work 8+ hours a day, never complaining that "they didn't feel good" boooo hoooo!
#3) The OB/GYN clinic (or any other place) is not a frickin daycare center! Don't bring your unruly little brats into a public place and expect other people to watch your children, make sure they aren't breaking our very expensive equipment or have us yell at them to stop screaming like maniacs because here's a thought 'you're not the only people in this place' and no one wants to listen to their shit! If you have to haul your 4 kids to an appointment, the whole time whining your husband is deploying, maybe you should have thought about that before shacking up again cuz 4 kids are not gonna be able to chill on labor & delivery while you're having your next little demon spawn.
#4) If the whole time you're pregnant you are whining about wanting a drink so bad or wanting to go out to the bar, maybe a kid isn't what you need in your life! You think people are gonna want to babysit your kid so you can go booze it up after that child is born? Priorities people....and if you're thinking about a drink as soon as that kid is born then you need help but I suppose kudos if you didn't drink during your pregnancy, that makes you a little less selfish and stupid!
Ok, enough of the crazy pregnant people rants! Although, I do have plenty more I could rattle off cuz I'm not kidding, we really see all kinds! The last thing that has irritated me lately is something of a completely different subject matter. Just in case you missed the memo, my husband leaves soon for a year, where I will be a single parent of 2 kids, no family around to dump them off on...just them and me! I'm fine with that because I know I can handle it, where as its apparent some people can't handle their spouse/significant other leaving for 5 seconds. God forbid they have to pee, do you follow them in there too? Recently someone made a statement that seriously made me wonder. Their other half was leaving town and their biggest concern was who was going to shovel the driveway if it snowed. Seriously??? That is the biggest issue? Not sure if you realize this but there are thousands of people whose spouse is deployed to a fuckin war zone with no cell phone, no landline phone, limited (if any) Internet connection, getting shot at and having IED's go off all the time and you're concerned about who is shoveling your god damn driveway? Here's a thought, pull your head out of your ass and call a plow company if its truly that big of an inconvenience for you and that is the biggest trouble in your life.
Anyway, that is all for now but be forewarned, there will be plenty more in the near future. No more going on a year long hiatus! Until next time, don't be stupid :)
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Walmart Strikes Again
It's been a few months since I last posted something in my blog....since September actually. Wow! I guess that means nothing has happened in the world to spark my interest enough to blog about it, until today! I try to stay away from the ghetto Walmart in town, mainly because well, it's ghetto! We're talking straight up white trash with a side of prostitution. Today I sucked it up and went to the ghetto Walmart because I needed to get a few things, more or less a quick stop which should have been uneventful. Nope!
My shopping trip in itself was fairly uneventful except the hoards of people blocking the aisles and looking at you like you have 6 heads when you say "excuse me". I know, politeness is not part of these peoples world! I get to the checkout and the cashier starts telling me how his best friend (who is female) thinks he looks like Johnny Depp and how most women think Johnny Depp is SO hot. It was a very weird, awkward moment that I could not escape fast enough but not before telling him I think Johnny Depp is disgusting. Finally, I can make my way to the parking lot and get out of this shit hole.
I load my bags into my vehicle, return the cart to the corral and get in my car. This is where my trip went downhill. There wasn't a car parked on my passenger side and suddenly a hobo looking guy appeared. I locked my doors super fast, as he was only 3 inches from my door. He was way creepy and I'm not one to get weirded out by people that easily. He made his way to the front of my vehicle, literally about 6 inches from my front end. He started making weird motions with his hands, saying something and was looking under my car. WTF! So now I'm thinking there is something under my car that shouldn't be there but don't dare get out and find out whats up. He travels over to my side of the car and motions for me to roll down my window. I roll it down just far enough (barely 2 inches) to hear what he says. He starts talking about how his car broke down, the radiator hose blew up, his car is parked over at Applebees and the parts store is telling him he only has $3 on his credit card and he needs $14 more to buy the hose and repair his car. Then he asks me for money. I politely tell him I don't have any and good luck.
In the midst of our brief conversation, a car pulled into the parking spot on my passenger side. Naturally, he left my car and went to panhandle from that car. I notice the lady (maybe early 20's) has 3 young children in the car, the oldest being maybe 3 years old. When the guy walks up to her car, he's making the same weird hand gestures and she rolls her window all the way down and talks to him. He's leaning on her car, they are talking and I'm guessing she said she didn't have any money either cuz he walked away quickly. At this point I had to say something to her. I rolled down my window and asked her WTF she was thinking rolling her window all the way down for a strange man. At first she was appalled that I was saying anything, I don't think she was following me why I was even saying anything to begin with. First of all, there has been a string of robberies in the broad daylight the last few weeks. Secondly, she has a car full of kids for Christ sakes! I don't remember what my exact words were but it was something to the effect of her being a total dumbass for allowing a stranger that close to her children, opening the window for him to do god knows what. Finally, after a few minutes of me having to explain to this dumb ass why what she did was retarded she thanked me and said "oh my god, I never even thought about that. My parents tell me to watch out for people and be weary of strangers but I never really knew why" SERIOUSLY?? Ugh! I had to roll up my window and leave cuz that would have started a whole new argument. Some people....for real.
My shopping trip in itself was fairly uneventful except the hoards of people blocking the aisles and looking at you like you have 6 heads when you say "excuse me". I know, politeness is not part of these peoples world! I get to the checkout and the cashier starts telling me how his best friend (who is female) thinks he looks like Johnny Depp and how most women think Johnny Depp is SO hot. It was a very weird, awkward moment that I could not escape fast enough but not before telling him I think Johnny Depp is disgusting. Finally, I can make my way to the parking lot and get out of this shit hole.
I load my bags into my vehicle, return the cart to the corral and get in my car. This is where my trip went downhill. There wasn't a car parked on my passenger side and suddenly a hobo looking guy appeared. I locked my doors super fast, as he was only 3 inches from my door. He was way creepy and I'm not one to get weirded out by people that easily. He made his way to the front of my vehicle, literally about 6 inches from my front end. He started making weird motions with his hands, saying something and was looking under my car. WTF! So now I'm thinking there is something under my car that shouldn't be there but don't dare get out and find out whats up. He travels over to my side of the car and motions for me to roll down my window. I roll it down just far enough (barely 2 inches) to hear what he says. He starts talking about how his car broke down, the radiator hose blew up, his car is parked over at Applebees and the parts store is telling him he only has $3 on his credit card and he needs $14 more to buy the hose and repair his car. Then he asks me for money. I politely tell him I don't have any and good luck.
In the midst of our brief conversation, a car pulled into the parking spot on my passenger side. Naturally, he left my car and went to panhandle from that car. I notice the lady (maybe early 20's) has 3 young children in the car, the oldest being maybe 3 years old. When the guy walks up to her car, he's making the same weird hand gestures and she rolls her window all the way down and talks to him. He's leaning on her car, they are talking and I'm guessing she said she didn't have any money either cuz he walked away quickly. At this point I had to say something to her. I rolled down my window and asked her WTF she was thinking rolling her window all the way down for a strange man. At first she was appalled that I was saying anything, I don't think she was following me why I was even saying anything to begin with. First of all, there has been a string of robberies in the broad daylight the last few weeks. Secondly, she has a car full of kids for Christ sakes! I don't remember what my exact words were but it was something to the effect of her being a total dumbass for allowing a stranger that close to her children, opening the window for him to do god knows what. Finally, after a few minutes of me having to explain to this dumb ass why what she did was retarded she thanked me and said "oh my god, I never even thought about that. My parents tell me to watch out for people and be weary of strangers but I never really knew why" SERIOUSLY?? Ugh! I had to roll up my window and leave cuz that would have started a whole new argument. Some people....for real.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The End of Customer Service
This is what the world has come to! Instead of mailing or physically dropping off payments, you make those payments online or over the phone....and talk to automated answering services! I've had my fill of this crap in the last 3 days! Some of you have been following my "Century Link/DirecTV" drama the last few days but this has gotten out of control.
First off, since we live in the middle of no where, it's been nothing but trouble since day one! Where we live is contracted with Qwest (who is not Century Link) to get DirecTV on base. When we first signed up for tv services, we had to go through Qwest...simple right? Nope! We had to call a seperate number to hook up our stuff because otherwise our location doesn't exist...oh, and there is only ONE guy that is allowed to hook up the tv service on base. Anyway, didn't think there would be many problems after that and to tell the truth, there really hasn't been....until recently.
One day, about 2 months ago I called to find out some info about my bill that was incorrect. Our DirecTV bill comes from Qwest...so naturally I call Qwest. They tell me I have to call DirecTV because it's their bill. I call DirecTV and they say I don't have an account....well of course I don't because my account is through Qwest. I call them back and after 45 minutes of the run around I get the answer I'm looking for. The next month I have to call back for the same reason. Again, I call Qwest first. They try the same thing, sending me to DirecTV but I stopped them. Then, suddenly they can't find my account....my address doesn't exist, I don't have an account and the dumb bitch transfers me to set up a new account. Um...you sure can find my account when I owe you money! Eventually, they find my account and fix my issue.
A few days later, the housing community sends out an email saying we now have our own private Qwest number to call for DirecTV issues because so many people have had problems. Glad I'm not the only one but it sure does suck. The following week I called that "private" number to cancel our movie channels. The guy I get is a total idiot, again can't find my account, I don't live where I say I do and asks "how did you get this number" I explain to him where I live and where the number came from and he's totally confused. After almost a hour, he finds my account stuff and cancels my movie channels. Ridiculous! This brings me to the last 3 days.....beat head here!
On Thursday, I go online to pay my bill, to Century Link, just as I normally do except this time, their website keeps erroring out and won't let me in. I'm just about to give up (after 45 minutes) when it finally lets me in! I submit my payment but never get a confirmation or even a "are you sure about this payment" page. I need to know that my payment went through! I get on the online chat and it says there are 24 people ahead of me. I get comfortable and a hour later, I'm finally next in line. Some guy comes on and says "how can I help you" I tell him I need to know if my payment went through, he says just a minute and bam....we're disconnected! Chat goes down. Awesome...so then I call, which I probably should have done in the beginning but I wasn't in a mood to be on hold for a hour on the phone. So I call and low and behold, the automated answering service answers. I'm yelling at it to give me a human, a person, a customer service idiot....and it finally says "ok, I'll transfer you" but shortly comes back saying "I'm sorry, our office is closed at this time" frickin great!
So by now I'm fricking irrate. I just wasted 2+ hours of my time trying to pay my bill and still have no idea if my payment went through! The next day (Friday) I call a few times throughout the day and of course the automated asshole tells me the office is closed but then clearly states "office hours are M-F 8a-6p" ummm....I'm curious what time zone they are referring to because no matter what time of day I called, it was within those hours unless they are referring to India time....hmmmm!
Lets get to today! Rylan and I go shopping for a jacket, a harmless trip out of the house.....until I get to JCPenneys and see there is a Century Link store across the parking lot. My blood starts to boil again and I consider going in there to find out the simple answer if they have my damn money or not! I decide not to go because Rylan is with me and if they tell me they can't help me, there was a chance I was gonna get mean! We get back home and I try to go online again, just to view my bill....can't get on their site. Here we go again!!! I connect to the chat again and it says I'm #3 in line, ok I can deal with this. Soon after, here comes the customer service rep named Simon....Here is our conversation:
First off, since we live in the middle of no where, it's been nothing but trouble since day one! Where we live is contracted with Qwest (who is not Century Link) to get DirecTV on base. When we first signed up for tv services, we had to go through Qwest...simple right? Nope! We had to call a seperate number to hook up our stuff because otherwise our location doesn't exist...oh, and there is only ONE guy that is allowed to hook up the tv service on base. Anyway, didn't think there would be many problems after that and to tell the truth, there really hasn't been....until recently.
One day, about 2 months ago I called to find out some info about my bill that was incorrect. Our DirecTV bill comes from Qwest...so naturally I call Qwest. They tell me I have to call DirecTV because it's their bill. I call DirecTV and they say I don't have an account....well of course I don't because my account is through Qwest. I call them back and after 45 minutes of the run around I get the answer I'm looking for. The next month I have to call back for the same reason. Again, I call Qwest first. They try the same thing, sending me to DirecTV but I stopped them. Then, suddenly they can't find my account....my address doesn't exist, I don't have an account and the dumb bitch transfers me to set up a new account. Um...you sure can find my account when I owe you money! Eventually, they find my account and fix my issue.
A few days later, the housing community sends out an email saying we now have our own private Qwest number to call for DirecTV issues because so many people have had problems. Glad I'm not the only one but it sure does suck. The following week I called that "private" number to cancel our movie channels. The guy I get is a total idiot, again can't find my account, I don't live where I say I do and asks "how did you get this number" I explain to him where I live and where the number came from and he's totally confused. After almost a hour, he finds my account stuff and cancels my movie channels. Ridiculous! This brings me to the last 3 days.....beat head here!
On Thursday, I go online to pay my bill, to Century Link, just as I normally do except this time, their website keeps erroring out and won't let me in. I'm just about to give up (after 45 minutes) when it finally lets me in! I submit my payment but never get a confirmation or even a "are you sure about this payment" page. I need to know that my payment went through! I get on the online chat and it says there are 24 people ahead of me. I get comfortable and a hour later, I'm finally next in line. Some guy comes on and says "how can I help you" I tell him I need to know if my payment went through, he says just a minute and bam....we're disconnected! Chat goes down. Awesome...so then I call, which I probably should have done in the beginning but I wasn't in a mood to be on hold for a hour on the phone. So I call and low and behold, the automated answering service answers. I'm yelling at it to give me a human, a person, a customer service idiot....and it finally says "ok, I'll transfer you" but shortly comes back saying "I'm sorry, our office is closed at this time" frickin great!
So by now I'm fricking irrate. I just wasted 2+ hours of my time trying to pay my bill and still have no idea if my payment went through! The next day (Friday) I call a few times throughout the day and of course the automated asshole tells me the office is closed but then clearly states "office hours are M-F 8a-6p" ummm....I'm curious what time zone they are referring to because no matter what time of day I called, it was within those hours unless they are referring to India time....hmmmm!
Lets get to today! Rylan and I go shopping for a jacket, a harmless trip out of the house.....until I get to JCPenneys and see there is a Century Link store across the parking lot. My blood starts to boil again and I consider going in there to find out the simple answer if they have my damn money or not! I decide not to go because Rylan is with me and if they tell me they can't help me, there was a chance I was gonna get mean! We get back home and I try to go online again, just to view my bill....can't get on their site. Here we go again!!! I connect to the chat again and it says I'm #3 in line, ok I can deal with this. Soon after, here comes the customer service rep named Simon....Here is our conversation:
Thank you for contacting CenturyLink. My name is Simon S. (20748). How may I help you today?
Simon S. (20748): Hi Rachel, How can i help you today?
Rachel: I hope you can help me! I need to know if the payment I made on 9/8/11 was accepted. I have several issues with the website and the payment never said it went through and I can't get a hold of anyone online or on the phone to find out
Simon S. (20748): May I have your account number please?
Rachel: I only have DirecTV through you guys
Rachel: 719C283635 is the account number on my bill
Simon S. (20748): I'm sorry for the delay. I'll be right with you.
Simon S. (20748): Call the DTV customer service number 1-800-347-3288. I will not be able to look up the DTV information in my system. I do apologize.
Rachel: Ok so let me get this straight? I have to call THEM to find out if my bill reflects a payment I made to YOU?
Rachel: Even though my bill comes from Century Link?
Simon S. (20748): Thank you for waiting. I'll be with you in just a moment.
Simon S. (20748): This department doesn't have access to the billing infomration for the DTV services. Please call the billing department 1-800-244-1111.
Rachel: When are they open? What days/hours is a person actually available to speak with?
Simon S. (20748): The hours are M-F (8AM-6PM MST). They can make sure if the payment has gone through.
Simon S. (20748): I do apologize for the inconvenience.
Rachel: I have a question.
Rachel: This chat is for Century Link customer service and support, correct?
Simon S. (20748): That is correct. However, we have limited access to the systems, such as DirecTV services. WE can only setup new service orders for DTV but cant access any billing information.
Rachel: Ridiculous explanation for "customer service"!! Thanks for nothing, have a nice day and go screw yourself!
I can't even begin to understand this! DirecTV has NOTHING to do with my billing, yet I'm suppose to call them because the dickheads that actually take my money and send me a bill every month can't access my bill? Um ok! Just for shits and giggles I called DirecTV. I get a girl named Amanda, explained everything and she says "what the hell is wrong with them?" hahaha! My thought exactly! She says she's going to call them and find out what is going on and puts me on hold. I'm on hold for about 10 minutes when I hear the dreadful words "welcome to Qwest, now Century Link" WHAAAATTTT????? That bitch put my on hold and then transferred me to Century Link! Once again, the automated jerk says "our office is now closed"
Why the hell is it so difficult for them to tell me if I have a pending payment on my account? I can't understand why this task is so advanced for them! I have debated on going up to that Century Link store but really, right about now I would punch someone if they said to call the office during business hours! WTF......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)