Can I Get Some Lube for this???

Today is February 27th and in 2 short days it will be the year anniversary of the roller coaster ride that started my moms demise. I know, I know...not the way to start my typical blogs but oh well, guess I have other things on my mind than common annoyances of Facebook and Walmart! Who knew??

The reason for my rant tonight is I have decided that 95% of lawyers should be strung up by their balls (or other body parts) and hung out to be poked by sharp sticks and maybe have rocks thrown at them. I leave a 5% buffer zone for those lawyers out there (and yes, believe it or not they do exist) that actually help people instead of draining their checkbook! How do I know they exist? Well because I was a naughty child once upon a time and have needed some lawyer help, to my surprise actually helped me out A LOT and didn't butt rape me with their bill and also because I have friends that are lawyers and I can't very well tell them they suck at life :)

When my mom died, I was left to deal with her estate, which was and has been nothing short of a train wreck and was forced to hire a lawyer to handle to probate court process. Ps, have your shit in order before you die cuz this process blows! Anyway, I had met with several lawyers and law offices before I settled on the one I ultimately and now regretfully chose. Why did I choose him? Well, he was a very nice older man with an exuberant amount of probate experience. He is also a certified tax accountant, so bonus on the estate tax filing, right? Unfortunately, the main reason I decided to give him my money was after we discussed my moms estate and accounts, he said it shouldn't cost but about $1500 to close the entire estate, which included all court filings, taxes and extra things to be done since after all, it was me doing everything.

Essentially, all this dude had to do was get the court to appoint me the representative for the estate, get me a federal ID number for accounts and taxes and file the final papers after i sell the house. Let me point out that I even filed her taxes last year because it took me all of 15 seconds to do it. In the last 6 months, I've emailed him 3 times, which took him over 3 weeks to answer each time. Today, I get a bill in the mail for $879 for those communications and for him to file the estate taxes this year. Are you frickin high? Seriously dude, give me some of the drugs you've been taking! $879 to file taxes?.. And to answer 3 emails?

Let me just bend over and take it because if I don't pay him, he won't close the account when I sell the house. I've been telling him since I met him that I was going to sell the house in march, around the 1 year mark of her death. In his last email, he informs me I can't sell it until after he gets with the court to make sure there is no outstanding debt, which puts me at the end of April, right about the same time Joel is leaving for Korea. Perfect timing....cuz selling a house doesn't suck enough let alone when you're a single parent of 2 small kids. Which now makes me wonder how much this "checking with the court" bullshit is going to cost me.

As I stated before, he told me it should cost around $1500 total, clearly a lie considering the recent bill was more than half of that. So far, to date I have paid this prick $5800 to do what? Oh yes, get me to be the estate rep, to get the federal ID number and now file these damn taxes. What the freakin hell? Like I said earlier, needs to be strung up by his balls and poked with sharp sticks....or maybe a cattle prod, those are a fun little zap!

Hopefully not much longer with this dumb shit or I might need anger lawyer to help me out again...preferably one that isn't a money grubbing, lazy fuck that is just asking to get stabbed in a dark alley some night (and that was just a figure of speech, not a threat,)