The Krazy .......... Lady

Holy crap, it's been a LONG time since I've written something on here! That is SO odd considering something irritates me on a daily basis, guess I got a little too busy with other things to share my annoyances with the world! So what's on my mind today? Read and you shall find out!

Just about everyone has heard about the Extreme Couponing show that has taken over the world, literally! Pretty sure most people have heard about the Krazy Coupon Lady too...she's frickin nuts! Recently, I have taken up couponing....go ahead, laugh it up! My husband would say I've turned into one of the crazy bitches on tv but believe me, I'm far from it! I like to save money, who doesn't? Especially on things you regularly buy...why not save some money doing it? Excuse me for being happy that today I bought 648 baby wipes for $5.97, super deal! In case you can't do the math, that is $0.009 per wipe!! Me saving money on various things is not what has me annoyed though, for more than obvious reasons.

Have you ever gone to the store, whether it be the drug store, Walmart, Target, the grocery store, etc for something and they are all out only to find out they had some insane coupon deal and those wicked crazy bitches cleared the shelves? I will NEVER be one of those people, not even close! They piss me off so bad! Last week, I went into Walgreens for something, it was about 9:30am and the shelves were completely wiped out! I was like WTF?? Come to find out, there are some extreme coupon crazys in that neighborhood and they were there, bright and early cleaning house! Ok, well apparently you guys need that stuff way more than I do if you need to buy 100 tubes of toothpaste at once! (Before my husband says something, yes I do have 5 tubes unopened upstairs)

I can understand stocking up on food that won't go bad for a while, like canned goods and having a little stash of toiletries like toilet paper, body wash, razors, toothpaste, etc but seriously, draw the damn line somewhere! When people need a spare bedroom strictly for their "stash" it's time to bring on an intervention! Even still, cleared shelves and rude crazy bitches in the stores aren't even what I'm irritated about! I belong to an online baby board, I joined it when I was pregnant mainly to kill time and talk to hundreds of other pregnant ladies that were feeling just as miserable as I was. Turns out, I met a small group of fabulous ladies that I should be going to Vegas with in 6 days but nope...that's another vent! Anyway, complete sidebar there...oh well....on this baby board are other groups. Pretty much a group for everything from dealing with in laws to trying to conceive to military spouses to coupons! Out of curiosity and entertainment purposes I joined one of the coupon groups.

I read the posts pretty much everyday. Most of the time I just laugh about people doing stupid shit and being completely ridiculous...again, why do you need 100 tubes of toothpaste and then bitch that the store didn't have enough? Well today I read a post that pretty much inflamed my blogging blood...and here I am now! Apparently, some of these extremely crazy coupon bitches that are clearing shelves are having garage sales, selling the things that they have scored for free or next to nothing by couponing. Excuse me for saying this but instead of spending all of your time plotting your ambush on different stores, writing blogs and keeping up websites to gloat on your savings and stalking the stores to raid the newspapers for more coupons, couldn't you get off your ass, get a job and be a true asset to society??

I was completely shocked to find out that these couponing garage sales are quite common. They literally go from store to store, collecting shit and sell it to make a profit. Example: they go to Walgreens, have coupons to get say a $10 razor for $2, they then turn around and sell these at their garage sales for $4-7 per razor, making a profit of $2-5 per razor and these people are clearing the shelves scoring 30-50 items PER STORE! Is it just me that thinks this is completely wrong? Yes, it's smart money making but seriously, it seems like it should be illegal. Never in my wildest dreams (and I've been having some pretty whacked out ones lately) would I ever imagine doing this. It makes me sick actually. I definitely forsee the coupon world changing drastically in the near future because there is a difference between saving money, being thrifty and second hand stealing from manufactures and stores.

The good 'ol BC!

First and foremost let me say that this is strictly my opinion and not personally geared towards anyone so if you take offense to it, either stop reading or maybe take a look at yourself if you feel that I could be talking about you.

Secondly, I feel like I haven't blogged in FOREVER! Doesn't help that the stupid website has been down for a while for 'maintenence' although it seems like they didn't do crap to it!

So here goes. The good 'ol BC....not before Christ...but birth control! At some point in every persons life, you encounter someone that should honest to God, not reproduce. Working in healthcare, I've had the "advantage" of meeting several of these people but that is neither here nor there. My reason for this blog is that birth control seems to be a seriously overlooked aspect of life! Again, just my opinion!

Birth control is relatively cheap...regardless of if you have insurance or not. Hey now, yes I'm aware that it can cost x amount of dollars every month but lets face it, it's MUCH cheaper than diapers, formula, clothes, daycare, etc! Lets break this down for those that don't understand what I'm talking about....or just can't do math! Condoms: $1-$3 each time, pills, $20-35 per month, IUD $400 for 4 years...that's $100 a year. Now, the average cost of a baby is roughly $12000 for just the FIRST YEAR!!! So birth control is WAY cheaper!!

There have been quite a few people over the years that have said "I just can't afford it" or "my insurance doesn't cover it" or even "I don't want to go to the doctor" but the all time best was fairly recently someone said "it's too much of a pain to go pick it up every 3 months". Why is this irritating? Because A) you're completely lazy for it to be too much trouble to go pick it up, B) You have Tricare insurance so it's completely paid for...what the hell are you complaining about and C) you think picking up prescriptions is a pain in the ass, try pushing out a baby and taking care of it every day for the rest of your life....then you'll really have a pain in the ass!

So why a blog on birth control? Honestly, some people just shouldn't reproduce! Here are my reasonings behind why some people shouldn't (again, just my opinion)! If you're too selfish to think about anyone but yourself, you shouldn't have kids. If you're too lazy to get your ass off the couch and get something to drink, eat, get a Kleenex, etc yourself, you shouldn't have kids! If you can't physically, financially or mentally take care of the kid(s) you already have, you probably should invest in some BC and not have anymore for a while. If you feel the need to physically, mentally, verbally or emotionally abuse your kid(s) you definitely shouldn't have more and you should feel lucky CPS hasn't come and taken away the one(s) you have...and if you are abusing/neglecting them I hope someone kicks your ass! If you are with someone, either married or just in an exclusive relationship and you can't remain faithful to that person, you should not have kids! As a secondary aspect to that, if you have to go on a talk show to have DNA tests on 15 different guys to find a baby daddy, you should have bee sterilized at birth!

Birth control people, try it! It's not just the women I'm talking to...men have a hand in the birth control situation also! The worst thing ever is talking to someone and they say "oh god, I can't believe I'm pregnant, what am I going to do" and when you ask if they were on birth control and they say no, I just want to smack them upside the head! I don't feel a damn bit sorry for you for being irresponsible and getting pregnant. I do feel bad for that child who is going to be brought up in a crappy situation because their parents were idiots! And yes, I'm well aware of the fact that birth control doesn't always work, I know plenty of birth control babies...but at least you were taking precautions to prevent the big "OOPS". Maybe instead of popping ruffies in people's drinks, you should pop a BC pill in there instead!

Awesomeness!

What is awesomeness? 2 words: Ryan Bates! WHO? Ha ha...most of you have no clue who this clown is but I made an agreement and here is my end of the deal. Ryan Bates is a co-worker of Joel's, a good friend of ours and while I think I may have a difficult time trying to explain why he's awesome, he's a genuinely good guy. So why the blog about this guy that most people don't know? Well, if you don't know him, you should....and if you do, then you know why! So why the blog? Last year, Ryan and I were having a conversation about the ridiculous girls he is prone to dating, you know the chicks: dirty whores, lying bitches, scammers at the bar....all around female trash. I told him he should write up a dating criteria and hand it out when he is inclined to date a chick....if she reads it (if she can read) and is still ok with dating him, sweet! If not, then no harm done! Almost a year later, he still hadn't written it. Time has been forgiven since he was in Afghanistan for quite some time trying not to get blown up, which was a task in itself. After my blog last night, we made an agreement: he writes the criteria, I blog about his awesomeness...so here I am! So what makes this guy awesome? Here goes:

1) He's frickin hilarious! Sometimes he has a bit of a strange sense of humor, even dry and shallow at times but nonetheless, frickin hilarious! He could make a pile of dog shit laugh uncontrollably!

2) While Joel was in training before being deployed, he was awesome enough to agree to come to Babies R Us with me to pick up Rylan's crib and carry it up the stairs. Little did either of us know (ok I had an idea) how frickin heavy this bitch of a crib was. But what neither of us knew was that this crib comes in the most ridiculously shaped box, making it impossible for anyone to carry....not to mention it was well over 100 pounds of awkwardness. As he's struggling to even get it in the front door by himself because the box is just a retarded shape, I'm laughing at him with tears in my eyes. Then comes the stairs...16 stairs to be exact and this awesome guy manuevered that damn box up the stairs, swearing and bitching the entire time, all the while I'm dying of laughter because he's about to blow a lung wrestling this box. Let me add that he is no small guy and 100+ pounds is nothing to him....it was the shape of the box, not the weight!

3) Hmmm....sorry Ryan, that's all I got. I kid, I kid! Awesomeness continues because when I was pregnant, he would come over and visit with me while I was excessively pregnant, hot and bitchy but still came over to get raped by our 3 dogs at the time and never complained (to me) about how much I bitched about everything! He also offered to come over and mow the lawn or destroy the overbearing weeds in the backyard....but stubborn me did it myself.

4) He's quiet! Not in the sense of being a timid, shy person...cause that's not it at all. I've lived with my fair share of guys since I've lived in this house...that just seems weird but it's true. Not all of them have been quiet and definitely not all of them have gotten along with me....or shall I say I haven't gotten along with all of them. In fact, someone once said I was a "raging bitch"....but lets face the fact that you were loud as shit, screwing some hoe in my shower, keeping me up all night when I was super pregnant and had to work in the morning....so excuse me for being a bitch but I sure as hell will not apologize for damn near tearing your throat out in the morning. Sorry, I digress a bit. Ryan on the other hand, is quiet! He would be standing somewhere, I would come around the corner and he would scare the shit out of me because I didn't realize he was "lurking" there....although he says he was just standing there in the middle of the room. Whatever! Anyway, he's quiet and respectful.

5) Doesn't really equate to "awesomeness" in my book but I'll throw it out there in case some of my readers are indeed 'interested' in our awesome friend. He has a crotch rocket and a dirt bike....fun toys, with more to come.

So here's the real deal on our friend, Ryan. While it seems like I'm almost pimping him out via my blog, well, I guess I kind of am, he really is a cool guy. I wish I had more single friends (that aren't flakes) that I could hook him up with so he could stop dating the freaks of nature he keeps finding....so there, my end of the agreement is done!

This, That & Everything In Between

Again, it's been a few days since I've blessed everyone with a "Rachel Rant" so here goes! So many things have irritated me lately that it's all built up and now it's time to let it all out.

1) I know I've mentioned this before about the "Facebook Check-In's" but damn seriously people, give it a rest! No one really gives a shit if you are laying in bed at home, at your girlfriend/boyfriends house, sitting at Petsmart....etc. NO ONE CARES! Not to mention, if you have time to update your status or check in place while at your girlfriend/boyfriends house, you must not be having a good enough time...which leads me to my next issue.

2) Why do people ask for relationship advice or opinions on what they should do, fully knowing when the answer is going to be around the table "end it" but then continue on in a toxic relationship or are stupid enough to go back to someone that is deliberately treated them like shit. Yes, you may have a good time with someone on occasion and you may have strong feelings for them but seriously, if it's hazardous (which usually it is if your asking for advice/opinions) get out! Save your time and energy because it's not going to work out in the end! More than likely, they are just dragging you along until something better comes along, or they find a more opportune time to end it with you. Cut your loss!!

3) People that bitch about tv shows on Facebook. Now, everyone has been guilty of once upon a time posting something negative about a tv show....yes, it happens. What I'm talking about is those that bash shows like Jerry Springer, Teen Mom, Maury, etc when you and your life are no better than those you are dogging. Example: People are inclined to bitch about the young moms on Teen Mom because, well they are young and appear to be not so bright. Here is where you look stupid. When you neglect your child, talk on facebook about ignoring your children, talk about partying non-stop instead of being with your kids, are cheating on your spouse or just being a dumbass, you are no better than the people portrayed on those shows and should therefore learn to shut your mouth because you're a bigger piece of shit than they could ever be!

4) Napkins at fast food restaurants. Interesting thing to complain about, huh? Am I the only one that sees an issue with the amount of napkins they give you when you go through a drive thru? Here's the issue: you go through McDonalds or wherever drive thru and order a soda and french fries....they give you 80 napkins as if what you just ordered is going to be all over the place. The next time, you order a Big Mac or some other slimy, drippy burger and they give you one napkin. What the hell is the deal there?

5) Where is the other sock? The question of the century when you get your clothes out of the dryer! There is currently a commercial on tv regarding home insurance and they mention that a high number of fires occur every year from your dryer. I bet you that missing sock is stuck in the dryer vent.....

6) Another repeat post: those god damn family sticker things on the back of vehicles! Last weekend, a friend of mine told me she saw one with people and a pet snake sticker....seriously? I didn't believe her (ok, I kinda did) until I was driving to a patients home today and saw a car that had 1 adult sticker, a couple dogs, a few cats, a lizard, something resembling a rabbit and a frickin snake! Several things wrong with this: you have too many animals, all of which should eat each other! There may be some correlation between why there is only one human sticker on the vehicle...hmmm...pet addiction? And lastly, you're running out of back window space!

That is all for now. I could go on and on for quite a while right now but I'll save some for another day!

How Does This Happen??

It's been a while since I last posted something but since today has just been fan-frickin-tastic, why not end it accordingly with nothing other than a flame broiled rant....and this one may just get under your skin a little!

Aside from everything going horribly wrong in the country/world these days, lets just add one more thing as a cherry on top! Phillip Greaves....a name that meant nothing not too long ago has now made headlines....for what? Read and you shall find out. Last year, he wrote and self-published a book called "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover's Code of Conduct" The name alone should be alarming, correct? Guess not because guess what? This book, that has such a "grab your attention and read me" kind of title was being sold on Amazon. It took thousands and thousands of people commenting, boycotting Amazon and sending letters of disgust before Amazon finally took a look at what they were selling and realized it was inappropriate material. Again, the name of the book should give you a clue of what it's about, correct? This man was not arrested until undercover agents bought and received a copy of the book and realized it really was about what the title says it is. Yes my friends, a written paper hand book on how to be a pedophile!

Now, as disgusting as this may be....it's what happened yesterday that really gets me! First of all, who in the hell would write a book like this? If you google his name, you will see the kind of creep that does! Secondly, who would sell shit like this? Amazon apparently did and while I'm a fan of Amazon, I'm starting to rethink where I spend what little money we have! Lastly, who buys this crap?? Well, according to Phillip Greaves, 238 people bought it....which means aside from the undercover agents, there are 200+ sick mother fuckers out there currently with a copy of this trash! So, what happened yesterday? I'll get to that! This scumbag of human flesh was arrested in December in Colorado for "distributing obscene material" in Florida. He was brought to Florida and tried. He pled NO CONTEST to the charges and was sentenced. You would think this kind of published crap would get some jail time, right? NO! He was sentenced to 2 years probation and ordered to continue mental health counseling. 2 fucking years probation for writing a guide on how to be a pedophile...and obviously the mental health counseling he has been getting isn't worth it's money because this guy is clear off his rocker! Lets face it, in order to write a book about something, especially a how-to book, you need to know how to do it, which means he has or still is a damn pedophile! Instead, he gets probation! I wouldn't write a book about fixing airplanes because I don't know how....I could write a book on tying my shoes though...why? Because I've done it!

What the hell is wrong with this picture?? A guy soliciting third party sex/assault on children gets probation but someone can spend time in prision for something far less?? Is it just me or is this totally backwards? I can't get over the fact that this crap shoot got probation....just had to rant for a minute and share my utter disgust in the judicial system.

Stupid People Shouldn't.....

While there is a list 19 miles long containing things stupid people should not do, we all know the infamous saying "stupid people shouldn't breed" but today I realized something else along those lines. Selfish people shouldn't breed either, and while that sounds like it would pretty self-explanatory, apparently there are people in the world that don't know that A) they are stupid, B) they are selfish or C) they just aren't fit to have children. The problem is, most of these people don't realize it until after they've already had a child and then think "oh shit, now what??" No, I'm not talking about myself here. Yes, I for years had said I never wanted children but now that I have Rylan, someone will have to kill me to get him from me!

Ok, back to the subject at hand. Stupid people shouldn't breed for obvious reasons, they're idiots that don't know their head from their ass and therefore are not sufficient parents because they are morons! Selfish people should not breed because well, they're selfish and nothing (and I mean nothing) will ever change the fact that they think they come first. Unfortunately, that isn't how the world works when you have children; hence why selfish people shouldn't have them. Now, there are those people out there that are a combination of stupid and selfish, which you would think they wouldn't have offspring but crap, they do! This whole thing stemmed from a conversation I had earlier today...which the more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off...the subject, not having the conversation. Anyway, here are some examples of selfish and stupid parents and the things I have witnessed or have heard these parents say:

1) Leaving your child in the car: STUPID! It takes a matter of minutes for a child to die in a car so running in the grocery store, post office, gas station, etc while your child is in the car is just a dumb thing to do. If you can't take 5 seconds to take your child in with you, you don't need to go! Secondly, while you're doing whatever you are doing that you couldn't bring your child with, someone can snatch your kid as fast as a fart in the wind disappears, again...STUPID idea!

2) Letting your child cry/scream because you don't want to get out of bed: SELFISH and STUPID! Let's face it, being a parent (especially a mother) is exhausting. There was a period in time where Rylan slept for 2 hours a day MAX for a month straight. I was beyond exhausted but still had to carry on my duties as a mother. Why? Because it's my job as a parent. Letting your child cry it out while sleep training is one thing, or even just letting them cry so you can walk away and gather your thoughts before you snap off the deep end....but blatently leaving your child in their crib screaming because your ass doesn't want to get out of bed yet is not only selfish but it's neglect! Also, it's stupid because children at a young age need reassurance and parents that are selfish and neglectful are just causing emotional damage to their children.

3) Begging for handouts for diapers/formula, etc. because you spent all of your money on alcohol, junk food, days at the spa, the casino....basically anything not necessary....SELFISH! If babies could take care of themselves or even go buy the things they need, believe me, I would make sure Rylan was doing it, but he can't! Babies and children are relient on others to care for them, which means being responsible and getting them diapers, clothes and food. If you can't feed your child or put clothes on them because you have no money, I REFUSE to feel bad for you when you were on facebook or wherever talking about how you spent the day at the spa the day before or you're at the bar every other night getting hammered. Get your priorities straight for christ sakes! When I worked at a casino years ago, I came across a lady bawling while sitting at a table. I asked her what was wrong, fully expecting she was upset that she lost a ton of money. While I was correct in my assumption, she added to the story by saying "I just lost all of my money and now I don't have enough to put gas in my car to get home and even if I did, I don't have money to pay the babysitter watching my 3 kids" SERIOUSLY?? Pity train has just derailed, sorry!

These are just a few examples, there are plenty more but the bottom line is, if you know someone stupid or selfish, please tell them not to breed....or just buy them a good supply of birth control and hope they take the hint! And for the love of God, if you have done one of the things mentioned above, please seek help. Your children will thank you later when they are still alive and not emotionally scarred for life. And if you know someone that neglects or abuses their child, REPORT THEM! They may get pissed at you but that child deserves SO much more!

Tax Nightmares!

How could I not share my recent experiences with the State of Colorado and the tax nightmare we have come across?? It's almost an epic story! So heres a little back story before I get into the recent uproar of the event!

A while back, we received a letter from the State of Colorado saying that back taxes were owed. Apparently, Joel's whore of an ex wife never filed her Colorado taxes from 2007 and because she filed them with him as the primary taxpayer, he was the contact person for the money owed. Damn near $1000 owed! In the meantime, I filed our 2010 taxes and my Colorado refund was intercepted to pay towards the debt from 2007. Talk about not making me happy but such is life. Come to find out, she majorly jacked up their 2007 taxes, didn't have the correct amounts, filed them incorrectly...blah blah blah so we sent in Joels 2007 tax information saying he was a MN resident and doesn't pay CO taxes. They adjusted the numbers and determined that the debt was only $81 for 2007 taxes.....but yet they kept way more than that with my refund. So this brings me to last week.

I get a letter from CO saying they made an error in keeping my refund and will be reissuing a check minus the $81 owed. On Saturday, I get the check in the mail made out to Joel and his ex wife, because their names were on the 2007 account. Don't think much of it and go to the bank on Monday to deposit it only to be told by the bank that without the ex's signature or her being present, they can't do anything with it. So now I'm pissed! I call the state and of course, it's tax season so I get the automated recordings saying their wait time is 47 minutes or that they are experiencing a high volume of calls and to try back later. I finally get connected to a person who tells me they can't help me and to talk with a person in Tay Payer Services. They give me the phone number and I start over having to call 100 times to get a person. Again, I'm told they can't help me and I need to talk to someone else....this happens 4 frickin times! Aggravated much?? I call AGAIN and get a voicemail saying the person I need to talk to is out of the office....of course you are since I just spent over 2 hours trying to talk to someone! I leave her a message and already anticipate having to go through the phone hell again the next day.

Today, I get a voicemail from this lady telling me "there's nothing we can do. The only thing you can do is have the ex sign the check or it is no good. Sorry" SORRY?? Oh, you'll be sorry alright! Apparently you don't know who you're screwing with here and if you think I'm just letting this go, you're high on bat shit! I call the lady back and she tells me that its a refund from 2007 taxes. I tell her no it's not, its an overpayment into a 2007 account because the state kept MY 2010 refund for the 2007 crap. She tells me "the only thing you can do it send the check to the ex, have her sign it and send it back or physically take the check to her and have her sign it" I explain that 1) we have no idea where this dumb bitch is 2) if we knew where she was we're not stupid enough to send the check to her because we would never see it again and 3) if anyone (whether it be Joel, me or a friend or family member) has to physically see her, it's going to end very badly because she's the last person any of us want to see and she won't make it of the meeting without problems.

The lady then says "well sorry, you're going to have to deal with it" and has the balls to hang up on me! Oh bitch, I will drive up there and knock on your door if I have to. I have your address on the letter you sent me saying I was going to be refunded MY money....try me, please! I call back, she answers the phone like nothing happens and I lose it! Now, I'm aware of the fact that I have to be careful with anything I say because I'm sure the conversation is being recorded and the last thing I need is to go to jail over some stupid tax bitch! I told her she is unprofessional and should go work in a cave because she has no business dealing with people! I also told her I'm sure this time of year she really hates her job but it's not my fault the state screwed up and kept MY money when they shouldn't have!

She gives me the phone number to another lady who "may be able to issue me another check" and tells me to have a nice day and hangs up again. I'll have a nice day when you guys stop screwing up my money, you assholes! I call this new lady and am surprised I don't get the phone run around again....I get her on the phone on the 2nd ring! I explain the entire situation again, like a broken record. Ugh! She tells me she will look into it and call me back. Here we go again! She actually called back within a couple hours though and with much better news than expected. She asks me to send the stupid check with the ex whores name on it back to her and she will reissue another check in my name. She also tells me that this should have never have happened and especially shouldn't be waiting for a refund check for my 2010 taxes that are being held up because dumb whore can't file shit correctly! Thank god...finally someone that sees why I'm so irritated about this situation and someone that can help me! So in the end, I should be getting my money soon in a form I can actually do something with. Stupid taxes....they really will be the death of people in one way or another and damn dirty whores!